judgment day... :((

wow... i'm blogging again.. hahaha :P

wow... for the last 2 days i don't know what to feel... a lot has happened... hell WEEKS... the final exams, and most of all... the battery/qualifying exams... WAAAA!!! that's A LOT of mental and emotional pressure.... especially with regards to the qualifying exams, which will tell my destiny (for DLS-HSI at least) if i'm still gonna continue my nursing course... :((

i really don't know what to feel... compared to what i felt when i was waiting for my grades in anatomy back in the first semester of my sophomore year (with all the tears and the prayers), this one's different... THIS IS BIGGER... but i'm not crying compared to what i did with my ana.... and i don't know why... i'm much more calm i think.... i'm really not sure....

although i had my father's approval or shall i say, 'go signal' that if i won't pass the qualifying exams, he's ok with it... (maybe for the reason that he realize he wants me to pursue medical technology, haha)... i can't help but feel guilty.. of course, who wouldn't feel the same way?? i have another sibling (a younger one), but i can't help but feel that they pay more attention to me than my brother... surprisingly (in college), i get the things i need (or want) without me practically begging for it... nagiging sunod sa layaw ako... i don't know if it's just me noticing that... and for that, i feel guilty all the more... i feel that if i fail the exams, i will make them disappointed (even though they said it's ok).... when i called my dad before the exams, as usual, he said words like "you can do this, just pray to God" and the like... boosting and cheering me up... but when i read his text (text was 8:16 am, the exam was ongoing, so i read at about 10:30 when i finished) that says "God bless you anak, watever hapens don't frget i luv u", my eyes went automatic!!! i cried because i felt guilty... because i felt i wasn't giving my best... i admit that and i'm sorry for that... i hope that if i pass and get into the last 2 years of my nursing course, i would be more persevering with my studies.. i don't want to let them down... :-I

so wish me luck guys!! the results will be released tomorrow, as well as my class cards (talk about giving 2 hell results in one day! @_@)... and please pray for me..

JIAYOU!! AJA AJA TO BUNNYKAYE!! :D